Give A Little Love - Noah And The Whale
I've Just Seen a Face - The Beatles
And there is a loudness to the whispers I hear,
Whispers shouldn’t be that loud, should they?
There is a girl over there who everyone knows and men without ears will stand by the door for a price.
In long hallways there are angry mobs of dwarves and rats and one single ANGEL.
at the ripening age of thirteen, i fell in love for the first time
because holden caulfield was the handsomest man alive according to vice magazine,
and what did that leave me to be
except a child sprinting through a field for the nearest cliff, screaming, ‘catch me, catch me, catch me!’
a red hunting hat adorned the back of my eyelids
but it wasn’t ‘in’ this year
and even if it was, my head was probably the wrong shape for it
but i didn’t throw it away for another six summers -
i was hoping i could find someone to love me with it,
but i’d waited with rose-tinted glasses for long enough.
and ah, love! i never understood love -
it wasn’t right, wasn’t genuine enough,
and at nineteen, i had absorbed the role of catcher as my own.
my family fed me through clenched teeth
and subsisted on a diet of my university grades and muttered swear words in return.
who am i now to absorb this feeling thrown backwards through my fingers
like an upside-down hourglass?
i cannot comprehend this,
and every year i let go by without doing so
is another child i have allowed to fly past me into the dark void
and oh, how i wish it were me instead.
Wednesday, July 23rd